Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
there is puke in my bra ... again
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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