I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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