I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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