We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
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