She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
