My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
It's shark week go big or go home
Randomize
