that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
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