drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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