Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
