You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I just gift wrapped bread.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
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