i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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