That's intense
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
