addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Randomize
