I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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