Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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