Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I think i got beer on your cat.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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