saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
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