my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
