Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
