he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
it glows. i had to have it.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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