Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
