He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
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