marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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