well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
