38 yer olds are good kisserssss
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
