I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
