Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(912): View more from Georgia

I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.

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(661): View more from California

I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."

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(314): View more from Missouri

There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.

(818): View more from California

Punch her baby.

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(720): View more from Colorado

I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.

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(734): View more from Michigan

Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.

(1-734): View more from Michigan

Haha did she know what fisting meant?

(734): View more from Michigan

Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself

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(859): View more from Kentucky

Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.

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(519): View more from Ontario

Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.

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(925): View more from California

I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.

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