Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.

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(973): View more from New Jersey

i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers

(1-973): View more from New Jersey

can u grab me a application

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.

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(931): View more from Tennessee

How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.

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(910): View more from North Carolina

he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol

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(310): View more from California

If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave

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(773): View more from Illinois

He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger

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(876): View more from Jamaica

I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!

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