i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Randomize
