I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Randomize
