When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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