you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
