He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I need a hoe opinion
go on
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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