Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
