? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
