Kiss
Puke
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
