grandma shit on top of the toilet
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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