Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
