In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
