Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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