I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
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