Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
