I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
