It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
