is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
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