I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Randomize
