Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
