dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
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