i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
God, I missed his penis.
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