so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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