matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
