dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
My feet surprised me
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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