Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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