I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
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