when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."