I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
