this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
