so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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