I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
