i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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