You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize