your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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