The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
