He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
