well most of my day revolves around power hour
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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