I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
