i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
